Being ignorance

Sometimes, I wish that I'm an ignorance. Because you know what, those who we care the most are the ones who will hurt us way painful than those common people. 

We tend to expect to be taken care back, or loved back by the ones we love or care. But the reality is not always like what we've expected. The gap between the reality and expectation is just hurt.

Oh well, probably we shouldn't have that expectation. Love without hoping to be loved back, and care without hoping back to be cared back; or just being the ignorance...

*Sunday night madness

*I don't know what's wrong with me

*random thought

EidlFitr 1436 H

As I've written on the previous post, this year's Ramadan and Eid is kinda different, since what I have to do almost in the whole day is just staying in bed...lalala😒. Even in the Eid day, I didn't join the Eid pray. But still, I  get dressed while waiting the whole family arrived from the masjid, only to feel the Eid ambience. 

After the Eid pray, we usually have the sungkeman time, it's Javanese tradition to ask forgiveness and blessing to the elder. Though, it's kinda different because Im sick at this Eid, but all the tradition and annual agenda are just the same. And after all, Eid is a time to feast and gather with all your love ones. What can you ask for more..?

Aamiin Allahuma aamiin..

Please make it possible O Allah SWT.

And below are our family portrait, sending a warm Eid greeting for all of you..

This is complete version of the family. Thanks to the camera, the timer, and the tripod. One of my wishes every year is hoping that next year, there's one or two additional member(s) of the family. Aamiin Allahuma aamiin..

Mom & Dad with their three daughters. They are the best parents in the world. May Allah SWT always protect them, give the health, happines, and blessing.

The sister; both of them are my bestest friends, my number one supporters, and my first line defenders. I love the much. May Allah SWT always love you much too...❤️

The Eid ambience...

Eid will come so soon; yay! Since tomorrow will be the Eid, the feast day of all moslems. But for me, the feeling is just so unlike what I've used to have. Well, Im not blaming my sick, but more or less, this is just the cause. This sick has ruined my Ramadan and also my Eid plans.

Despite all the gloomy I have, let's just enjoy the Eid. The smell of Mom's cook is so mouthwatering. All family members have gathered here. Though I have to stay on my bed... I hope this is gonna be the blessed and wonderful Eid too..

 

And please not forget to make sweet family picture again..

Have a great Eid ambience dear friends..

Oh, red velvet!

So craving for this sweet. This is like de ja vu, at my last typhoid fever, I also craved for this, and get one after I've recovered. I hope someone just be kind to send me one.. *berkhayal* 

Oh well, why am I so random tonight...? *jedang*

The big brother

A shocking news this morning, a good friend has passed away. Though I know that he's in his recovery after stroke attack around a month ago, but still the news is so shocking.

I feel a deep loss, and remember all the good old days we spent together back then..

Innalillahi wa innaillaihi rojiun..

May Allah SWT grant you jannah Bang..

Accept your good deeds and give mercy on ur mistakes..

"Even abang selalu bully aku, sampe aku pengen nangis..

Puas ngetawain aku, sampe aku bete..

Nelepon/gedor kamar aku minta makanan..

Maksa aku belajar bagian zeminya abang dan jawab setiap ada pertanyaan dari sensei..

But you are always be the big brother..

Yang selalu rempong ngurusin ini itu..

Yang mau nungguin aku di gang kalo aku pulang kemaleman dan takut gelap..

Yang pasrah kalo aku lagi jutek dan nyinyir.."

Thank you for everything...

Thank you for always being the bih brother for me and all friends...

😭😭😭😭😭

*sedihnya ih 😭😭😭😭

I swear I lived

The sign

Enough is enough..

When you've tried hard on something, but all the efforts seems won't work. I think I'd better stop. I'm not giving up, I just feel that I've had enough. 

Yeah..my heart finally said; 'enough is enough'.

Let's go change the direction..

The home..

Sendu..

Strolling around Yogya city always brings back my childhood memories.

Those happiness, laugh, sadness, tears comes along with every corner of the city.

The city has taught me a lot about letting go after losing and accepting new great things.

Though leaving the city back then was a start of our new lives, Yogya is always be my home...

Aaahhh syediihhh...-:(

The dreamer

I had a very serious talk with Mom this morning, the invansion to Yaman, regarding to the news in yesterday's newspaper. The news is just so heartbreaking for me. Why should we? It's just me who is too naive about all these stuffs I guess, but I always dreams about the world peace, something that is so doubful for some people [including me, actually]. 

No, I don't want to discuss about the difference causing the conflict, but as a world peace dreamer, I highly hope that we could just feel fine about the difference. It's me with my belief, and that's you with your belief. No need to influence and opress each other, it's just us live side by side peacefully. Could we? *again, I'm a dreamer*

Each side might afraid that their followers could be missleaded. Well, imho, it's every person's responsibility to learn about their own religion kan ya? So first thing first is learning a lot, protect your own self, thus you can also guide your family and friends. 

A good reminder to be a learner as long as you live...

*picture take from pinterest

The best[est]...[est] friend

Well, most of time..I'm the one who puts high standard, forces myself to achieve my target, becomes so much perfectionist to what I do, and does many other things that irritate myself..

I forget that what I need the most is just sit back, take a deep breath, and enjoying a cup of tea. 

Life is just life, and the world will always go around. Love what I have had now, be grateful for the love I've got, and forget all the things that I haven't had.

Life is beautiful, just enjoy every second of your life and be the best-est-est...-est friend of yourself.❤️

Mencintaimu, harus menjadi aku...

I just love this poem, it's just so deep..❤️

"You've never known how much I love you, but I belive that I am the one who loves you the most. 

I love you, you know I have, I do, and I'll always...loved, love, and love you.."

~me to you [who I haven't had any idea about who are you...]

*g word banget dah ini gueee* *keselek* *agak kesambet juga kayaknya*

The heart

Trying to look deep inside my heart. Well actually, it's just as simple as this...

Felt so sad and relieved at the same time, though the trauma will stay a lil' longer...

And that's how the story goes..

'Don't despair if your heart has been through a lot of trauma. Sometimes that's how beautiful hearts are remade; they are shattered first..' ~ Yasmin Mogahed

Travelling with....

Do you like travelling? Most people would answer yes, I bet you *sok tau kan gue*. Tapi bener kan, most people itu suka travelling. Dan kalau ngeliat trend yang sekarang ada di kalangan anak-anak yang [katanya] gaul dan kekinian, knowing new places somewhere is really such an achievement. 

And if you're asking me, do I like travelling? I probably need some time to answer that *ditanya begitu doang galau* *Zzzz*. Gue pengen bisa dateng ke tempat-tempat yang bagus, terutama somewhere all over Indonesia yang gemesin banget tempat-tempatnya. Cuma, ya gitu..pas di sana terus mau ngapain? Seringnya yang ada di otak ya cuma foto di situ trus udah *cameracholic tingkat dewa*, makanya solo travelling is a big no no buat gue, soalnya nggak ada yang motoin *penting banget*. 

Back to the questin, do I love travelling? As far as I remember, being in a place so called as travelling destination itu ya gitu doang rasanya, bagus sih tempatnya, cuma kalau kita feels empty ya empty juga tempat itu jadinya *tsaah*. 

So what matter the most buat gue itu bukan tempatnya, tapi sama siapa kita ada di sana. Jadi pengen ke sini, pengen ke sana, seru-seruan, ya tergantung temen travellingnya sih. Jadinya PR banget kan buat nyari team mate travelling *kode banget*

So, would you? *keselek*

*tetep curhat*

Expectation...

The positive vibe...

This sickness is really killing me. I can't even stop feel so queasy and dizzy. Last nigh, while having dinner, I couldn't stop saying that I'm so bellyful; suddenly lil' sissy said "please, don't say that to yourself, say something good, you're not on nausea, you're okay..."

Oh well, I've forgotten that some positive vibes might work to my body. I'm okay anyway... *sambil masih mual* *ngeeee*