August 23, 2015

Being ignorance

Sometimes, I wish that I'm an ignorance. Because you know what, those who we care the most are the ones who will hurt us way painful than those common people. 

We tend to expect to be taken care back, or loved back by the ones we love or care. But the reality is not always like what we've expected. The gap between the reality and expectation is just hurt.

Oh well, probably we shouldn't have that expectation. Love without hoping to be loved back, and care without hoping back to be cared back; or just being the ignorance...

*Sunday night madness
*I don't know what's wrong with me
*random thought

July 18, 2015

EidlFitr 1436 H

As I've written on the previous post, this year's Ramadan and Eid is kinda different, since what I have to do almost in the whole day is just staying in bed...lalalaπŸ˜’. Even in the Eid day, I didn't join the Eid pray. But still, I  get dressed while waiting the whole family arrived from the masjid, only to feel the Eid ambience. 
After the Eid pray, we usually have the sungkeman time, it's Javanese tradition to ask forgiveness and blessing to the elder. Though, it's kinda different because Im sick at this Eid, but all the tradition and annual agenda are just the same. And after all, Eid is a time to feast and gather with all your love ones. What can you ask for more..?

Aamiin Allahuma aamiin..
Please make it possible O Allah SWT.

And below are our family portrait, sending a warm Eid greeting for all of you..

This is complete version of the family. Thanks to the camera, the timer, and the tripod. One of my wishes every year is hoping that next year, there's one or two additional member(s) of the family. Aamiin Allahuma aamiin..

Mom & Dad with their three daughters. They are the best parents in the world. May Allah SWT always protect them, give the health, happines, and blessing.

The sister; both of them are my bestest friends, my number one supporters, and my first line defenders. I love the much. May Allah SWT always love you much too...❤️

July 16, 2015

The Eid ambience...

Eid will come so soon; yay! Since tomorrow will be the Eid, the feast day of all moslems. But for me, the feeling is just so unlike what I've used to have. Well, Im not blaming my sick, but more or less, this is just the cause. This sick has ruined my Ramadan and also my Eid plans.
Despite all the gloomy I have, let's just enjoy the Eid. The smell of Mom's cook is so mouthwatering. All family members have gathered here. Though I have to stay on my bed... I hope this is gonna be the blessed and wonderful Eid too..

 

And please not forget to make sweet family picture again..

Have a great Eid ambience dear friends..

July 14, 2015

Oh, red velvet!



So craving for this sweet. This is like de ja vu, at my last typhoid fever, I also craved for this, and get one after I've recovered. I hope someone just be kind to send me one.. *berkhayal* 
Oh well, why am I so random tonight...? *jedang*

July 6, 2015

The big brother

A shocking news this morning, a good friend has passed away. Though I know that he's in his recovery after stroke attack around a month ago, but still the news is so shocking.
I feel a deep loss, and remember all the good old days we spent together back then..
Innalillahi wa innaillaihi rojiun..
May Allah SWT grant you jannah Bang..
Accept your good deeds and give mercy on ur mistakes..

"Even abang selalu bully aku, sampe aku pengen nangis..
Puas ngetawain aku, sampe aku bete..
Nelepon/gedor kamar aku minta makanan..
Maksa aku belajar bagian zeminya abang dan jawab setiap ada pertanyaan dari sensei..

But you are always be the big brother..

Yang selalu rempong ngurusin ini itu..
Yang mau nungguin aku di gang kalo aku pulang kemaleman dan takut gelap..
Yang pasrah kalo aku lagi jutek dan nyinyir.."

Thank you for everything...
Thank you for always being the bih brother for me and all friends...
😭😭😭😭😭
*sedihnya ih 😭😭😭😭



April 19, 2015

Enough is enough..

When you've tried hard on something, but all the efforts seems won't work. I think I'd better stop. I'm not giving up, I just feel that I've had enough. 


Yeah..my heart finally said; 'enough is enough'.
Let's go change the direction..

April 15, 2015

The home..

Sendu..

Strolling around Yogya city always brings back my childhood memories.
Those happiness, laugh, sadness, tears comes along with every corner of the city.
The city has taught me a lot about letting go after losing and accepting new great things.
Though leaving the city back then was a start of our new lives, Yogya is always be my home...

Aaahhh syediihhh...-:(

April 5, 2015

The dreamer

I had a very serious talk with Mom this morning, the invansion to Yaman, regarding to the news in yesterday's newspaper. The news is just so heartbreaking for me. Why should we? It's just me who is too naive about all these stuffs I guess, but I always dreams about the world peace, something that is so doubful for some people [including me, actually]. 
No, I don't want to discuss about the difference causing the conflict, but as a world peace dreamer, I highly hope that we could just feel fine about the difference. It's me with my belief, and that's you with your belief. No need to influence and opress each other, it's just us live side by side peacefully. Could we? *again, I'm a dreamer*
Each side might afraid that their followers could be missleaded. Well, imho, it's every person's responsibility to learn about their own religion kan ya? So first thing first is learning a lot, protect your own self, thus you can also guide your family and friends. 
A good reminder to be a learner as long as you live...


*picture take from pinterest

April 3, 2015

The best[est]...[est] friend



Well, most of time..I'm the one who puts high standard, forces myself to achieve my target, becomes so much perfectionist to what I do, and does many other things that irritate myself..
I forget that what I need the most is just sit back, take a deep breath, and enjoying a cup of tea. 
Life is just life, and the world will always go around. Love what I have had now, be grateful for the love I've got, and forget all the things that I haven't had.
Life is beautiful, just enjoy every second of your life and be the best-est-est...-est friend of yourself.❤️

April 2, 2015

Mencintaimu, harus menjadi aku...


I just love this poem, it's just so deep..❤️

"You've never known how much I love you, but I belive that I am the one who loves you the most. 
I love you, you know I have, I do, and I'll always...loved, love, and love you.."
~me to you [who I haven't had any idea about who are you...]

*g word banget dah ini gueee* *keselek* *agak kesambet juga kayaknya*

April 1, 2015

The heart

Trying to look deep inside my heart. Well actually, it's just as simple as this...
Felt so sad and relieved at the same time, though the trauma will stay a lil' longer...
And that's how the story goes..


'Don't despair if your heart has been through a lot of trauma. Sometimes that's how beautiful hearts are remade; they are shattered first..' ~ Yasmin Mogahed

March 15, 2015

Travelling with....

Do you like travelling? Most people would answer yes, I bet you *sok tau kan gue*. Tapi bener kan, most people itu suka travelling. Dan kalau ngeliat trend yang sekarang ada di kalangan anak-anak yang [katanya] gaul dan kekinian, knowing new places somewhere is really such an achievement. 
And if you're asking me, do I like travelling? I probably need some time to answer that *ditanya begitu doang galau* *Zzzz*. Gue pengen bisa dateng ke tempat-tempat yang bagus, terutama somewhere all over Indonesia yang gemesin banget tempat-tempatnya. Cuma, ya gitu..pas di sana terus mau ngapain? Seringnya yang ada di otak ya cuma foto di situ trus udah *cameracholic tingkat dewa*, makanya solo travelling is a big no no buat gue, soalnya nggak ada yang motoin *penting banget*. 
Back to the questin, do I love travelling? As far as I remember, being in a place so called as travelling destination itu ya gitu doang rasanya, bagus sih tempatnya, cuma kalau kita feels empty ya empty juga tempat itu jadinya *tsaah*. 
So what matter the most buat gue itu bukan tempatnya, tapi sama siapa kita ada di sana. Jadi pengen ke sini, pengen ke sana, seru-seruan, ya tergantung temen travellingnya sih. Jadinya PR banget kan buat nyari team mate travelling *kode banget*
So, would you? *keselek*
*tetep curhat*



March 8, 2015

The positive vibe...

This sickness is really killing me. I can't even stop feel so queasy and dizzy. Last nigh, while having dinner, I couldn't stop saying that I'm so bellyful; suddenly lil' sissy said "please, don't say that to yourself, say something good, you're not on nausea, you're okay..."
Oh well, I've forgotten that some positive vibes might work to my body. I'm okay anyway... *sambil masih mual* *ngeeee*



February 1, 2014

Greyish fresh orange!

Grey & orange...I've never combined both of them as my outfit before, but they're surprisingly matched. Aren't you guys agree?


*plasma pattern scarf, candies cardigan, ziba bag, bata sandals.

What a night..

Hohoho...I had a great night last Tuesday, and that was...
cyang...cyang..


Ihiiiyyy...no need to tell more about them..
I love their songs since I was a junior high student, and still until now.. Well the performance was really enjoyable, I sang with them till the end of the show... And now I can't wait for their 28th birthday concert..wohooo...πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜€πŸ˜„





And..this guy was the one who has stolen my heart at the show.. Mariooooo...☺️πŸ˜‰


What a night indeed kan...☺️


November 30, 2013

How sulung are you?




Jadi ceritanya sepagian tadi, I've finished reading this book. Amelia, the 4th series of Serial Anak Mamak, written by Tere Liye. For your information, Bang Tere is one of my favourite writer, and I've been collecting his books so far. Makanya, at the time I heard kalo Amelia has been released, berasa gatel untuk cepetan beli dan baca. Alhamdulillahnya, pas banget semalem si adek mampir ke Gramedia, dan ngeliat Amelia ini sudah terpajang rapi di rak Gramwdia, and since adek juga one of his fans, ya dibelilah ini Amelia. Happy sekali rasanya semalem waktu tau si adek bawa pulang buku ini. 
Well, baca buku ini I felt like terbang ke other point of view, poin of view dari seorang anak bungsu. Agak susah untuk empati, beda dengan waktu baca Eliana, at that time, it's just so easy to feel how Eliana feel as the elder. Jadi ketika membaca banyak hal ketidaksukaan Amelia as anak bungsu, ya flat-flat aja, things yang touching ya tetep partnya Eliana *teuteup*.
Ngomongin tentang sulung atau bungsu dan which is better, I have no idea about that, since I'm not both. Ik anak tengah bow, yang mana seringnya anak tengah itu cenderung lain sendiri, sedikit caper, dan menye. Etapi ya, kalo kalian anak tengah, you probably understand why deh. We, the middlers, are seems to be forgotten, iya nggak sih. Seringnya sih begitu kalau suka sharing dengan sesama middlers *jreng..jreng..ai bikin istilah sendiri duong...*. But eniwei, post ini bukan buat ngebahas keanehan anak tengah sih, atau tentang anak bungsu yang bikin ai susah empati, tapi lagi pengen cerita tengang seluk beluk si sulung *dih, padahal sulung juga bukan-:D*.
Duluuu...jaman masih sekolah/kuliah, I felt that my big sister itu annoying. Meskipun beda cuma 2 tahun sama Mbak Tyas, tapi tetep jatohnya lebih deket sama si adek yang bedanya 5 tahun, sesama pembuat onar mungkin ya. Ya gimana juga nggak, for me at that time, Mbak Tyas itu lebih mirip jadi satpamnya MomDad yang selalu nyuruh belajar lah, ini lah, atau itulah, ya tipenya mbak-mbak pengatur yang seringnya bikin kesel karena nggak bisa diajakin kompakan. Kadang, sering juga denger keluhan Mbak Tyas yang udah frustasi ngadepin kita yang bilang, "nanti gue yang dimarahin". Dih, pada saat itu sih mana kepikir kalo beneran, yang ada malah.. "masak sih, kenapa juga Mbak Tyas yang dimarahin?".
Tapi kan itu dulu, and things went change pada saat ik yang mendadak harus jadi si sulung karena Mbak Tyas nikah dan tinggal terpisah, baru deh berasa kayak gimana rasanya. Dan itu berasa 2 tahun terakhir ini, after I came home from Sendai. Ya secara, pada saat Mbat Tyas nikah, si adek udah kos di Yogya, jadi ai malah jadi anak semata watang di rumah, enak bener. Si adek lulus kuliah di Yogya dan balik tinggal di rumah waktu ai kuliah di Sendai, jadi begitu back for good dari Sendai, baru deh rasakan itu rasanya jadi si sulung. Ternyata emang menye ya jadi si sulung itu, haha. Seringnya ketiban kena tegur kalo si adek bikin salah. Macem, "adeknya kok nggak dibangunin sih?" *padahal ai udah ampe frustasi banguninnya, jadi yaudah capek sendiri, terserah aja kalo dia telat, muahaha, ealah kok ya ikutan disalahin juga*; atau "tuh kan adeknya makannya nggak bener, kenapa nggak disuruh,bla..bla." *dih, yang nyuruh makan bener juga udah capek kaliii*. Apesnya, si adek malah jadi sering ngomong "mbak, lo lama-lama resek kayak Mbak Tyas" atau "mbak, lo lama-lama kayak Ibu deh" *dih males gag sih ik*. 
Nah ya, para bungsu yang nggak bakal ngerasain bakal jadi si sulung yang harus responsible sama urusan adeknya, ya berbahagialah, tapi kayaknya you should think how it feels to be the elders deh. Karena ai as adek, yang berasa kakaknya resek (dulu), sekarang berasa jadi kakak yang dibilang resek sama adeknya. And probably, ternyata based on what I read from Amelia, secara si adek gag pernah komplen, jadi si bungsu juga ada nggak enaknya karena selalu diatur-atur, dan disuruh-suruh. Etapi tetep kan overall, yang paling apes itu si anak tengah dong, karena bisa berasa jadi dua-duanya *ih,kasian deh ik-:D*. 
But still, terlepas dari semua itu...having sisters is incredible..setuju kan? 











November 29, 2013

Awas ya dipotong gajinya...

Jaman kecil dulu, setiap ngerengek supaya MomDad gag berangkat ngantor, atau pengen ikut ke kantor pasti nasihat yang didapet adalah... "Gag boleh nakal, kalau MomDad nggak ngator/telat dateng, nanti gajinya dipotong lho". And at that time lil' In chan percaya banget sama masalah gaji dipotong ini. Dih makanya dulu ai manis bener, gag nakal ngerek-rengek lagi ikut ke kantor atau ngelarang MomDad ngantor. Ternyata oh ternyata, setelah gede baru tau kalau yang namanya PNS itu mana ada istilah gaji dipotong..muahaha..gue dikadalin ternyatah sodara-sodara..
Tapiiiii...itu dulu..sekarang lain cerita, berpuluh tahun kemudian,setelah lil' In chan jadi PNS jugak, beneran ada lhoh gaji dipotong *dih, gue siyal bener*. Baru ngeh, dan mencermati gegara sakit inih, yang mana karena seminggu ini gag masuk, gaji ai bakal kepotong 700K-an. Huaaa..nyesek amat yak..hahaha. Eyatapi wajar sih lah, namanya juga gag masuk, makan gaji buta dong ik nantinya ya...-:p.
Well, kalau inget pertama kali urusan potong-memotong gaji ini diberlakukan, which is awal 2013 yang lalu, banyak cerita lucunya juga lho. Banyakan sih cerita tentang urusan ngejar absen tepat waktu di tengah kemacetan Jakarta yang  semakin menggila. Yakalii pada ikhlas dipotongin gajinya tiap hari, telat semenit aja dipotong bow..muahaha. Alhamdulillahnya sih ai ikut jemputan kantor, yang emang dari awal selalu on time, kecuali macetnya lagi luar binasa. Eh pernah loh, macet gag kira-kira di perempatan Jati Padang, udah sengaja turun angkot buat nyari ojek dan ngejar waktu, begitu sampai di ujung perempatan, ternyata jalan stuck, boro-boro ada ojek. Walhasih ai jalan kaki sambil tengok-tengok cari ojek. Since time is running dan hampir limit waktu jam masuk, akhirnya asal tembak motor lewat dan ai todong as ojek buat ngantor ke kantor..muahaha..mau sih orangnya, even gag yakin itu tukang ojek ato bukan yah...yang penting absen aman. 
Cuma euforia ngejar absen on time ini udah basi sekarang, secara almost all people udah biasa punya habit baru. Intinya mungkin emang berangkat lebih pagi, dan lebih disiplin. Cuma ya itu tadi, lain cerita ya kalau macetnya luar binasa di luar perkiraan *emang macetnya Jakarta bisa dipredicted?-:P. Ada satu temen yang baru mulai ngantor lagi setelah tugas belajar, baru ngerasa euforia dikejar-kejar absen pagi, sampe kebawa mimpi telat absen..hahaha..ampun deh.
Jadi PNS yang males, siap-siap ya dipotong gajinya. Sayang-sayanglah uang negara buat ngegaji orang males, iya gag sih..?-:p. But honestly, buat ai pribadi lho ya, dateng tepat waktu, kerja bener itu gag ada hubungannya sama urusan potong dipotong si gaji lah. Buktinya ini udah usaha kerja bener aja mengikhlaskan diri dipotong gajinya,haha *apes*. Intinya sih balik ke niat, kalau digaji pake duit pajak rakyat se-Indonesia raya itu harusnya udah tau dong mesti kerja seperti apa, buat siapa *ciyyyeeeh kesambet*. Etapi beneran deh, I hope all Indonesian civil servants have this kind of promise in their heart yah.. Just work hard for a better Indonesia, isn't that right  dear colleagues?